As a teenager, what I hate most is that I have to listen to what adults tell me. In my mind, I thought I got all the answers. I can't wait until I grow up, so I don't have to listen to anyone. My stupid belief is that my parents told me that I am not allowed to do anything to control me. My irrational thinking made me despise my parents and rebellion. By the age of 14, I was unknowingly self-destructive. After independence and respect, I ruthlessly greedy. It feels like I grew up, I don't want to treat it like I did when I was young. I want to explore my choices and make my own choices. The times have changed, but the life cycle remains the same. If you want to reach out to teenagers who usually think they "all know", you must try to cancel their "smelly thinking."
Teenagers don't want to be told; they want a mature solution. Young people often despise being told what to do. So, in order to get a better response, let them freely decide how to meet your requirements. For example, if the house must be clean, cooked for dinner or littered, don't just make a strong order. Discuss your needs with your child, just like your respected companions, let your child plan and plan how to get the job done. This doesn't mean you have to get your teenagers to "join the show," but let them believe they can control how they handle the situation. This will make them feel respected and more mature.
The important thing is that teenagers know that their maturity will give them more privileges. The more responsible they become, the more they should be done independently. This will give your child the motivation to do the right thing. Remember that most children are more eager to be free than any other child. If they know that they will gain more freedom by doing the right thing, you will get their attention and cooperation.
When you have to say "no" to something or you have to ask for it, be kind and explain why you made the decision. Keep in mind that most teenagers are reluctant to be told what to do, and there is a preconceived notion that parents are just trying to stop their enjoyment. Therefore, when you have to ask for a child's request, don't do it because of the "I say this" mentality; explain your decision. For example, if you think your child can't stay up late, explain why, understand your reasons, and use love to express your message.
"Dear, I know that you want to have fun tonight, but you have to do your homework. I understand that you may think that your homework is not important at the moment, but it is. In order to maintain your lifestyle. Now you must get one. A good salary to pay the bill. In order to do this, you must get your education. The more you study now, the better you can get a better life when you get older. I have more freedom. I am very grateful to you. I recognize your potential and I know that your future will be great. As your parents, my job is to help you achieve what I think you deserve. Let us work together to achieve this goal. "You can use warmth." The tone provides this dialogue.
Always compromise or suggest. You can successfully bargain with your child and achieve good results. Some people may think that bargaining with children is ridiculous, but it is not. Remember, when your child grows up, he or she will be eager to be independent. If you make your child feel that you believe in them and they have a sense of independence, you will get their favor. This will help you get more positive results in your relationship. Therefore, help your child gain a sense of independence by setting goals and rewarding children to achieve goals freely. For example, a good grade for an exam can be rewarded by adding an hour to the curfew time of a teenager. You will be amazed at this simple privilege, only once, can motivate children to become responsible people. Therefore, by rewarding your child, you will ultimately motivate him or her to succeed.
Parenting is a team sport. Coaches need a winning team to thrive in their careers, just as parents need to develop healthy family relationships to achieve long-term results. Therefore, be as embarrassed as a coach when developing your parenting skills. When they make mistakes, don't yell at your child, be compassionate and understand all the facts. Understand the motivation behind bad behavior so that you can help to correct the problem at the root. Take corrective action to keep your child safe, but keep your child free from sharing the truth. Remember, facts can always be handled, but things you don't know can't be solved!
When you take disciplinary action is firm, but always explain your reasoning. Don't let your child develop their own ideology behind your actions, which may undermine your relationship. Explain the terms and conditions of the penalty and how your child gains your trust and the privilege of recovery. Always keep your child looking for a fair and consistent rational voice. You want your child to always feel comfortable, instead of turning to the street to find a solution.
If your child does not accept your reasoning, show them a visual example that can be better correlated with it. Adolescents usually learn through illustrative practical examples. I have achieved remarkable success in a prison public speaking group for young people at risk. I remember that a child entered the juvenile detention center very unruly. When we were waiting in the seats to speak, what surprised me was that a teenager hit the back of the other head in front of the staff. When the director of the facility scolded the unruly teenager, she replied, "Close @#$%!" I totally don't believe how rude the child is. I certainly think that reaching this particular child is an impossible task. When I approached the podium to recite my speech, my belly was full of butterflies.
After I announced my name, my beliefs and the fact that I was serving in the federal prison for 12 and a half years, the room suddenly appeared silent screams. You can literally hear the pins on the floor fall. I talk to teenagers as if I was talking to a friend I really care about. I explained to them how my past mistakes and how my lifestyle led me to imprisonment. I talked about life in prison in detail. I explained how my colleagues worked hard to please, I believe they are my true friends, and abandoned me during my imprisonment. Before I finished my speech, I reluctantly glanced at the little girl who had been unruly. She said to me intently, but it is difficult to recognize whether my information has actually been communicated to her.
When the question/answer part of the meeting started, the little girl raised her hand and spoke. In my opinion, I thought she would say something rude, but she didn't.
"Since I was 12 years old, I have been in and out of the detention center. I took the weeds, cut the school, and strolled from the shops near my house. It was a bit like you, I followed my friends and did something to please them. However, after listening to your story, I don't want to go any further. "The child screamed when she started crying. "I can't imagine living in prison for 12 and a half years like you. It can't happen to me! I don't want to live like this again!" When I stepped out of the platform and walked to me, she fell asleep to her seat to comfort she was. That moment changed my life. It made me realize that despite my shortcomings and past mistakes, my story might make a difference! My experience guiding young people at risk helped me develop a formula that would allow them to accept my advice.
In order to reach a rebellious teenager, you must first overcome the challenge and make them believe that their current behavior or way of thinking is unreasonable. It's not enough to yell or just ask. If you respectfully inspire your child to understand the reasons behind your point of view and give them clear visuals and explain your reasons, they will get it! The visual example will last longer than your text. Even if you are not around, an enlightened child who understands the serious consequences of bad choices will pay attention to your advice because they understand that this is true protection.
Don't just listen to me. Try the tips written in this article. I promise you will be surprised by the results! Not only will you improve your relationship with the most rebellious teenagers, your advice will go home!
Orignal From: How to reach out to rebellious teenagers and let them accept your suggestions
No comments:
Post a Comment