Knowing the world through the eyes of a bipolar person is a difficult thing for those with typical ideas. This is especially problematic for people who like or are friends with bipolar. The question I often hear from these people is, "How can he do these terrible things to me when the person we love claims to love or care about me?"
Let us explore this puzzle. Remember, I use the following example in extreme cases and I hope to take this home. Many of us usually float in the middle range unless we are seriously unwell.
Sarah and Jack are a married couple. Sarah is bipolar. When she is good, the two share a healthy, caring, and caring relationship. She loves Jack wholeheartedly. The bipolar discomfort distorted the view of Sarah. Her thoughts began to spread her wrong message about the world and her life around her.
Her thoughts began to pick everything Jack did. Did he spend too much time smiling at the waitress? He wants to sleep with her. Did he answer the wrong number late at night? He is dealing with the woman who is sleeping. Going home late for work? I know that he is sleeping with her!
The longer Sarah is impatient, the more her thoughts and feelings will be; the rotation will be disproportionate. Then, her thoughts may start to dig out all the other things in her life with Jack and not proceed as planned. Didn't finish the university? Jack's fault. abortion? Jack's fault. Looking for a job she hates? Jack's fault.
Most likely, this will culminate and explode. Sarah will fight a fierce battle with Jack, or find some other way to attack all of his mistakes, so that her discomfort makes her convinced that she should be responsible for it. It's a verbal barb, it might be worse. "I hate you. You are terrible. You have no value. I hope I have never seen you." And he licked it.
This is the focus of many people's mistakes. They asked: "If my loved ones know that they hurt me, why don't they apologize?" Because they haven't rebalanced, or they don't know what to say.
When was the last time you apologized to someone you hate? At this time, Sarah hated Jack because her brain had fed her lie and distorted her view of life. She does not love him now, and she can retaliate against him in many ways - retaliation for his "infidelity", physical and abusive, or anything her thoughts might do.
A person who is physically and mentally bad will eventually normalize. She will return to her baseline, just as she loves Jack as always, except now - she has a list of any terrible things she has said and done to her during severe discomfort. At this point, most of our twins will see the ashes of another important thing in our lives slipping away from our fingers. If we don't understand our disease well, many of us will remain silent about it because what can you say? What might make up for those terrible behaviors? Compared to the wound, "I am sorry" is usually a pale shadow.
This doesn't mean that this is where things are going - this is the way they usually do because people don't have enough self-education and how to manage it.
If you are bipolar - you need to learn to identify indicators that you feel uncomfortable. Bipolar disorder is a mental illness; as a disease, there are symptoms that indicate that you are ill. When you are sick, you can start to pay more attention to your thinking process and smooth out your way. If Sarah realizes that she has become unbalanced and stops to really check what she is thinking, then almost all of the above examples may be derailed. Yes, it is very difficult. Yes, you won't always get it done. However, if you find yourself may feel unwell, you can prevent a lot of harm by criticizing your own thoughts.
If possible, study cognitive therapy. The therapist can help you learn and perfect these skills. You will have to work hard to learn how to manage and resolve these ideas, but this is a skill that you will use for the rest of your life. You either have a bipolar disorder or it has you - not in the middle.
If you are a friend/lover - you need to know you and your limitations very well. The bipolar people in your life may push them to travel around them. Being called by someone who is usually loved may be a shock; but in the end they are just a few words. Pay close attention to the dramatic changes in behavior. The dramatic change in sleep patterns is a very common indicator. Any major change in mood or personal habits may indicate a poor condition.
This leads me to communicate and trust. Bipolar people need to be able to accept that they are bipolar, they have severe emotional fluctuations, and if they are sick, they need to be able to communicate with their loved ones. Good people in the relationship need to feel comfortable raising them when they think they may feel uncomfortable. You can learn to read and recognize the symptoms of your partner. Communication can prevent many unnecessary injuries caused by bad thinking processes, because well partners can introduce facts and reality that are not suitable for the urgent needs of partners.
It is not always pleasant to love someone who has a mood disorder. Never exceed what you can afford. Everyone has their own lines and restrictions, and they know they can't cross. It is not unreasonable to expect that the bipolar in life can minimize the damage caused by the disorder. Please note that they may fail from time to time. Everyone is doing this. But - you can manage the disorder, you can establish a fairly normal relationship / friendship with this person. Every relationship has a challenge, and our relationship is slightly different from the typical one.
Orignal From: Bipolar perception and its influence on relationship
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